those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
