College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
