that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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