walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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