Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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