I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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