Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
