Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
