1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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