I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
