Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
