well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
