we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
