honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
