Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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