I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
