went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
