He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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