dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
