How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
