C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
