Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
