dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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