shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
