i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
