He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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