you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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