these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
