He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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