I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My bed smells like the plague
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