im drinking this country out of the recession.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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