my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
