Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
