Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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