i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
