i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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