Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
