My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
