WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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