I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
