I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize