i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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