I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
