I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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