just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize