Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
