thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
