I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
