I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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