I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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