You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
