I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
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